Honor Killing - My View

The recent cases of killing the daughters of the families in the name of honor killings have created a nationwide issue which needs immediate attention.

Honor killing is commonly defined as when usually the male members of the family murder the females of the family for establishing an extramarital or premarital relationship with a male member from other clan/group which is not accepted by the family. In India, we experience about 1000 killings per year in such cases.

As only the court has the legitimate power to punish or execute somebody on the basis of factual grounds, any individual or family’s involvement in the murder of an individual is a heinous crime and should be taken very seriously and strictly. It is quite clear that if these people do not get punishment for such crimes it will in turn motivate others too to commit this kind of acts. However, there is a need to look at this issue deeply and not by just imposing 100% responsibility on the parents.

If we look closely, it is not a problem of only an individual or a family; it is much more about our whole society and every one of us may be contributing unconsciously for this crime. There are reasons behind this statement-

Firstly, the couple who are in relationship without the consent of the families may seem to be happily in true love but they may be a victim of modern trend of having Gf/Bf as every one of us is not independent in our day to day decision making process. The social system around us plays a critical role in deciding for us what we want in our lives including our education, clothes or even food. The current trend in the society motivates young populace to get involved in a relationship taking it very casually which is not always a byproduct of love. In such a scenario, both of them may suffer a lot after their hasty decision and may spoil each others’ lives. This is what felt by most of the parents and prompt them to control the younger generation.

Secondly, a common logic in favor of the couple given by most of the people is that if two people are happy with each other and not disturbing anybody else’s life they should be allowed to do so. It is difficult to accept this statement completely as nobody of us is independent in this world. We all our interlinked and interconnected with each other closely. Hence, there is always an impact of the actions of each one of us on others’ lives positively or negatively. An example of this is - prohibition of indulging in sex at public places. This can be argued by using the same statement that if two people are happy and not doing any harm to others they should be allowed in their act. But it can not be allowed as it has direct negative impacts on other people of the society. The only difference between above mentioned two cases is that in the latter, the negative impacts are clearly visible whereas, impacts are not so clear in the former case. If we assume the first point to be true, this kind of logic needs to be accepted with at most care.

Thirdly, the parents are not 100% responsible for what is happening. It is because of the huge knowledge and exposure gap between the generations. All the movies, books, magazines, fashion industry, media is educating only the first generation as they are the revenue generation populace for them. They are not at all concerned about educating the second or third generation people and expose them to the new trends and development in different aspects of life. This huge gap creates conflict between the two generations and the byproducts of these are in front of us. In such cases, the blame game or imposing stricter rules for parents will only create more conflict between them and will never be able to find a solution.

Lastly, the system of marriage inside one’s clan or group has its own pros & cons and is highly debatable. We need to see the long term impacts of any system which is getting developed in our culture and then take proper measure to regulate them. I feel that neglecting any particular system will only create more problems for the whole society. Thus a blend mix of system would be a better solution to incorporate all the positives of all the systems and throwing out the negative ones.

OSHO says that life is not black or white, it’s gray. It is always easy to say yes or no to any issue but it takes courage, time and effort to contemplate over the issue, go to the root of the problem and solve it.

Thus, honor killing should not be seen as individual or family’s case, rather it should be treated as a bigger social problem with most care in order to develop better relationship between generations which will in turn create an atmosphere where these two generations would be able to understand and respect each others’ point of views and take a decision which will be mutually benefitting for both of them and hence for the whole society.

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